WALLABIES V SOUTH AFRICA

I WATCHED THIS GAME SOBER!

both south africa and the wallabies owe me a couple of hours of my life back! this was complete shite that i wish i could have wiped from my memory!

watching to teams try to suck more than the other makes me think of what it must be like to attend a mardi gra after party! 

this was a game of suckiness and Kiwi Robbie "wannabe" Deans summed it up afterwoods when asked if that "was close to the plan" as he responded "there where parts of it, they tried, thats all you can ask for really!" really robbie "they tried" well at least its better than an Eddie Jones coached team.

here is an idea for the return game next week, forfit and come back and start training for the all blacks, im not going to miss another 80 minutes of that crap and the result doesnt matter anyway, why risk more injury, and waste more of my sleep trying to pretend when you put two turd in a blender you can turn it into a meal! 

if your going to catch the replay today, do yourself a favour and get a gun instead! waqtching the RWC semi final will bring you more joy than the knock-on-a-thon that is the south african quota system! 

maybe we should have a quota of players that can run forward! 

that said!

steven moore = great game, first time ive seen him and said world class!

ryan cross = proved he belonged

george smith = robbed of MOM, how elsom got it over him was anyones guess!

giteau = stop the short kicks, if were not going forward pump the fuckin thing to a corner already!

im watching dora the explorer right now, as far as entertainment goes, worth getting up for!

jesus out!

THE HAKA

as i stood beside a mate from New Zealand on saturday night i shared the same feelings as him! no he wasnt as upset as i was at fulltime, infact by the final whistle he had barely touched his beer cos he hadnt had time between cheers to do so! while i was buried under a pile of glasses taller than the world trade centre! (are we allowed to use that metaphor?)

it was just before kick off and the New Zealanders lined up for the Haka, i love the Haka, always have, its a unique and wonderful thing to behold in a theatre of rugby, the sound the movement and the anticipation of the final jump and tongue flash leading to kick off!

but i have a problem with the new Haka, Acumate or however you spell it, the original was always taught to me to be a war dance that was performed as a challenge, it was to be faced and accepted by the opposition captain, but in examples when teams have turned there backs to it, the New Zealand public, players and officials have reacted in shock and claimed racism!

well the new Haka ends in a throat slashing movement! this is offensive in my culture, the kiwis say its not a death thing but more a "symbol of drawing vital energys", i had a brief look in the rule book and there is no rule allowing for the game to be delayed for the haka to be performed!  so i call on the australian wallabys squad of 2008, in brisbane, if the kiwis line up and do this stupid over the top full of shit version of the haka, then we should line up for the kickoff and if its our turn to kick it! we should go ahead and do so!

if i went to new zealand and flashed my knob at there prime minister, she would be offended, turned on, but offended, i would probably be arrested, if i claimed in my culture, flashing my penis is a sign of respect i would be laughed at!

so when a kiwi draws "vital energys" i say we should draw trousers and flash our surperior nuts in there general direction! my Kiwi friend shared my shock, he said they should personally apologise for doing that version, i agree with him, there a bunch of dickheads!

peace out

jesus

FUCK ROBBIE DEANS

for the last few weeks people have praised the hell out of Robert "Kiwi" Deans, but as we have all come crashing down to earth after being smashed by a england styled negative rugby playing bunch of all black fuckwits! (thats right i called them english!)

we lost, so why isn't everyone hassling the shit outta Robbie? why is he such a golden boy, we didnt just lose, we got our asses slow cooked, double glazed and served back to us in the new mcdonalds slow and cold style rather than the old style when the burgers were warm and you got your order within half a fuckin hour (were not waiting for fine food here people and im trying to keep a front rowers physique goin!) why is it that aussie Robbie is a god?

we have only had one decent win (the first bledisloe game) all the others we would have won under Eddie Jones! so why when that win is wiped off the record by an absolute hiding in auckland does everyone jump on the, its not the end of the world!

i have a theory, when i drink 6 beers i get a buzz going, this was the wallabies 6th game under Robbie Deans! my theory is that Robbie knows the limits of his team intake! once ive had six beers, if someone offers me another i get all Kevin Rudd and down another 10 and end up in a stripclub in new york offering a twenty to some hooker named Tatafu, wait a minute, that wasnt in new york...............

anyway, i think Robbie may have intentionally thrown the game! he saw his team getting a bit of a buzz going and he cut them off, he didnt let them get drunk on power just yet! confidence can ad a point or two in a game, but arrangance can cost you! i think Robbie knew this and went out with a negative gameplan to intentionally make his team react under pressure! they failed and he will learn more from that failure than he has from the five victories before!

what do i base this theory on you ask? nothing, thats right nothing, see, jesus is a sore loser, thats why he banished the devil forever without parole!

im clinging to hope! if you wanna take that hope from me, its going to take alot of alcohol and a beating your not capable of giving!

peace out homies!

jesus