Waratah Jesus

BRING BACK LOTE

2009-06-08T12:34:00.002+10:00

well,

to put it simply, as Jesus has remarked before, the Deans show must end.

his selection policy of capping as many players as possible and calling it blooding is the biggest waste of time since the All Blacks rested all there players before the 07 world cup.

Jesus was the first to call Deans overrated and he wants to say that this weekends game against the barbarians was a fine example of this. Now i know we have three or four weeks against sub par opposition before the real test of the tri-nations but the fact of the matter is, that in deans "putting pride back in the jersey" bullshit, he has infact made it clear anyone who plays super rugby should be dissapointed not to wear a gold jersey at some point.

first lets talk about Matt Hodgson, Mat is 28, he is a converted 7 playing 6 and offers nothing close to what Mumm, Rocky or Kimlin offer in the same position. Yet he now has a free tracksuit and jumper to wear around the house as he was selected to join his Force teammates in the back row of an Australian team heading for embarrasment. Ad to this that Pek Cowen or however you spell his name is likely to scrum against italy at some point after playing about 20 minutes of good super rugby and you have a free jersey for every Australia. Infact if Deans was Prime Minister we would all have probably just got a Wallaby cap and not 950 buckaroos.

then comes his back three selection. firstly he talks up JOC before going with last years failure, AAC. i like AAC but can we have him on the bench, he covers several positions and is a strong runner. his impact on a game would be much better with half an hour to go than it is fromt he first moment.

Drew mitchell & Turner on the wings is my main gripe though. To drop Lote shows just how stupid a coach Deans is. he claimed Turner had a better season at the Tahs but ignored the fact that the room Turner recieved 9/I0 times came from Lote drawing defenders to the other side of the field only to turn the ball back out to turner. Then comes drew, WTF? honestly, the guy played fullback for his own team, a team that managed to win only three games against club teams from which we hope to beat there combined national teams, moron.....

Lote has played 63 tests, for 30 tries.

not really a bad strike rate in terms of things, ad the number of tries he saves a game, plus the number of metres he makes throught he ruck, which quite frankly per game is more than most forwards combined and you have someone of such emence value to australian rugby that to play his "non selection" throught he media is a piece of shit.

UP YOURS DEANS.

how about putting a trophy in the cabinet that wasnt made up the week before.

Giteau the great

2009-01-15T09:18:00.002+11:00

super expansion plans

2008-10-18T23:16:00.002+11:00

the economy crashed the other day. i didnt care to much i was drunk and having an asthma attack after smoking a bong with a local homeless man. why is this relevent, answer - after 11 beers and 2 cones i harness the mindset of John O'neil. thats right, 11 beers and 2 cones and i become a part of the O'neil thought process.

so that leads me to an idea i had during this drunken, stoned and tired conversation, the idea of a lifetime, and idea to harness the raw economic prowess of asia and hord the money for australia!!!!!!

the super 14 is set to expand next year to include a fifth australian team, but with the current credit crisis these plans might be at the wrong time, what better way to use this opportunity than for australia to give the franchise to asia!!!

while i would prefer the team went to honk kong so tourists could stay at asian disney land, Japan seems to be the front runner to get a side and with there international team building and interest already int he country it seems like a fair call. why should we give them the side? its simple, if we place our team in japan, we can have a half japanese half aussie side, this means that we can send a few veterans and some up and comers to japan to team with locals, this gives japan an opportunity to learn and be more competitive as they gradually fill an entire team roster and also gives them knowledge not to employ eddie jones. it gives australia the chance to blood new players without experiancing the player drain that the force created by not having any local players.

if the super rugby series is to be expanded again in a few years time, japan could then take control of this franchise completely and australia could attain a fifth team leaving a gradual and easy transition to filling the team when the time is right!

could work, might not,

but lets just hope someone does something to actually create a new team rather than steal with dirty money and prostitute players like whores around the country!

god speed little munchkins.

jesus out!

WARATAHS BLINDSIGHTED!

2008-10-13T21:53:00.002+11:00

recruiting for the 2009 super rugby season in australia hit new highs and lows in the last few weeks, while clubs secretly go about recruiting international players, queensland raided new zealand, rumours had it the waratahs were chasing all black ali williams, and perth continued to poor water on suggestions of player unrest by talking about other organisations and ignoring anything close to denial!

but this is about the waratahs, and there search for a new blindside flanker.

with the loss of Rocky (may he rest in ireland) and Vics (may he not strain his shoulder doing exams) the waratahs are desperatly trying to block a couple of sizable gaps in there pack, but in my opinion the answer is right in front of them.

with the addition of scott fava and the promotion of beau robinson to the main squad the gaps are already plugged and we can save money and make a big play for rocky in a years time when he turns up on australias doorstep with a souped up agent looking for cash!

my plan is to move palu to number 6, i know he is the best 8 in the country but by moving him to six he blocks the channel in defence that is Beales main problem and allows the second part of the plan to come into effect, TPN to 8, with freier back at hooker, TPN can move to 8 were his around the ground abilities and strong running could prove the vital cog in a rebuilding waratahs pack, with speed agility and ball playing ability TPN can avoid the crooked throws and become the premier 8 in the country, plus be a back up for 2 late int he game and allow the fresh faced robinson to take advantage of tired defences.

with mumm back in the pack at lock we would have a strong agile ball playing pack with plenty of backup on the bench, while the lineouts will suffer without vicks, there is only 1 or 2 people in world rugby who could possibly fill that gap and none of them are off contract so its mission impossible at the moment, could be worse than mumm, sharpe could be coming!

jesus out!

FAN OF THE BAND!

2008-09-19T13:22:00.003+10:00

it almost kickoff in Auckland, Aucklands Super rugby team are called the Blues. apparantly, that is after a pirate of the same name. A pirate called Blue beard. ive seen him, (not live cos i only go to new zealand when there is a chance of a trophy or im picking up an overrated coach so the wallabies have an excuse!) Blue beard comes around the ground on a pirate ship, a pirate ship on wheels in the middle of a rugby stadium, fake canons blazing as if this stupid weirdo with an oversized head was going into battle against people who cheer for him! and cheer they do, as if there lives depend on it, perhaps the canons are shooting prizes into the crowd, i dont know what would make a group of kiwis cheer so hard bt it must be some sort of Australian visa or dole check!

for years, the pre game and post game show has come and gone from rugby grounds around australia. In Canberra a meeting between the Tahs and Brumbies is usually met by a showing from the Australian Army, they sky dive in and fire canons and everyone claps when clearly its boring as batshit and hs no place on the ground at all! (if these people are so good at there job, why aint they fighting a fucking war somewhere!)

in Waratah land, there used to be a band called SADDLERASH, yep you read that right, they had a meeting of the minds and named there band after the rash you get from riding a horse all day! (i used to get it from my ex wife! not pleasant, she really should have shaved!) Now saddlerash would play after the game, they would encourage everyone to go to one end of the stadium and keep drinking while the band sang covers of songs no one asked to hear! the best thing about the saddlerash experience was that they came onto the ground on a stage being towed behind a tractor, they entered the ground from the opposite end of the field about 10 minutes before full time and slowly crept up the sideline, at times this was hillarious as there isnt much room and the tractor would collect signage and cameramen in its effort to be at the bar by the end of the game!

when i was backpacking through europe pre game entertainment reached its pinicle though, i went to see London Irish play (cos i was staying near were they played) before the game, they not only had riverdance style entertainment (which was extra funny as riverdance has alot to do with tap dancing and the dancers were prancing on a semi wet field!) this was topped off with a girl from page 3 of the daily mirror posing topless with a retiring player in front of a group of young fans! (and yes she was awesome!, you would happily get saddle rash for a ride on that shit!)

so when i think back on my many trips to the rugby, the ups and downs, the cheerleaders, the pirates, TAHMAN (who doesnt qualify as anything but awesome!), the Barter Buggy Kid, there is something i miss and something that i think needs to make a comeback to rugby everywhere around this great country. The club rugby warm up game. two teams from the local scene or two country teams or even a subbies comp, let them play in front of a crowd, let teams from all divisions apply to play a game in the lead in to a tahs or brumbies or anything in between match! Let there club come out in numbers and colours to support them, let them be involved, make it a fundraising thing, have teams compete raising money for charity, team with the most gets to play a match before the super 14 game. invovle rugby in rugby, i dont need to watch a fuckin pirate or the army, i didnt join the army, i got drunk fat and payed to sit in a fucking chair and watch rugby, so give me what i chose in life.............MORE FUCKIN RUGBY!

jesus out.

SUPER 15

2008-09-19T13:22:00.002+10:00

i was watching a Britney Spears clip and i realised something. While she is getting older i still like to look at her ass!

this brings me to todays topic, Super Rugby. I have Loved the Super Rugby experiment since the game went professional, being a passionate Tah man (not the actual Tah man................. or am i?) ive struggled through some dark years, ive had some great joys, but like watching a Matt Dunning field goal, a lifetime of sitting between the posts has led to the competition itself becoming a bit stale.

which leads me to Britney, ive never been a fan of her singing, but i like to watch. sort of how i look at the crusaders. hate the fact they win, but love to watch them play! ive never really loved the super 14, but i love to watch rugby and its a good brand of rugby.

so its with much rejoice that all three unions involved seem to be showing signs of coming together to do something special with providing more games and more local derbys.

i only hope as the competition expands again and things change that they leave the product as is on the pitch. the call to put another team in aus needs to be offset by more international players being allowed here. As was shown with the force the country doesnt produce enough players for the four current teams, and while we are slowly building we do not need another team pillaging talent from the four existing franchises.

part of what makes a team great is when its players and colours stay loyal and traditional. If players start jumping teams left right and centre and changing jerseys or locations then they abandon those that have invested time and money in them.

while making the product bigger and more exciting i would just like to say to those making the decisions, stay loyal to who you already have before you build, we need to build on what we havem not at the expense of it. the money you have is from a company that relies on the general public watching. make us want to watch. but most of all, make sure Britney Spears ass never changes!

THE TOUR

2008-09-18T10:59:00.002+10:00

one of the great joys of playing rugby or being a rugby supporter is the tour.

you get to go to exotic locations such as brisbane, new zealand, south africa or if your really lucky then you might even get to visit canberra.

this story centres on on such rugby trip a few years back to see the waratahs play the brumbies.

it started as four young kids sitting in the SFS one friday night talking about how there was only a couple more home games left and finished with the suggestion of a road trip to Bruce Stadium in Canberra for the game the following weekend.

it was decided what car to take, who was going, who was organising tickets, who was organising accomadation. Jesus being a single strapping lad at the time was given the job of making sure we left on time so we could get porn and fireworks before game time!

so saturday came and we jumped in a car and hit the most boring of freeways to the most boring of towns (sorry perth you cant win everything) the hours ticked by, as the boredom set in, the driver had insisted we could not drink in the car so instead we had to make conversation, without alcohol, gay references and man love are alot more gay than at the pub at 2am, but thats a blog for another time (or perhaps greenandgoldrugby) .

so we arrive in canberra and the young chap in charge of accomadation reveals he hasnt actually booked anywhere, not a problem, its Canberra, it wont be sold out. So we head to the Hostel and on the way i ask if we have to pick the tickets up or if we already had them, turns out we hadnt booked tickets. so we drive out to the stadium to try to get some, SOLD F'n OUT!!!! so no tickets and its already pushing 3pm, game time 7.30, what do you do?

FISHWIJK, or however you spell it, the firework and adult entertainment capital of Australia. so we load up, and head back to sydney, arriving at the local pub just before half time.

you see the rugby tour being the tradition it is doesnt always go smoothly. like a touring Australian team in Jo'burg the road isnt always smooth and clear. You need the group as a whole to come together and deliver on the day.

like a hangover on gameday after a big first night, the tour is met with danger and dizzyness, as you piece together what went wrong on the day, its easy in hiensite to just blame Matt Giteau without realising it was probably Nathan Sharpes fault to!

jesus out!

australian super 14 teams

2008-09-17T14:40:00.002+10:00

we have four teams but only one real chance of winning and the answers in the name people.....

NSW WARATAHS - the Waratah is the state emblem of NSW, Light blue is the traditional colour of both the state of NSW and the first ever Australian Rugby team. Tradition, honour, respect, New South F'n Wales!!!!

ACT BRUMBIES- ACT isnt even a state, i know mind boggling isnt it, its a territory, like the ford 4wd of the same name, awkward, bland and with large turning circles! now the name, a Brumby is a wild horse, horses are not native to Australia and are actually considered a pest! in the ACT alone they have two hunting seasons were they actually kill Brumbies. enough said!

Queensland Reds- a funny thing happened in Queensland, they lost the mardi gra despite having a more appropriately named state, then they named there rugby team after a Kangaroo while having the emblem of a koala, bonus points for it actually being a native animal even if they couldnt remember the name! ow did a team that got it so wrong ever recruit Latham, i rate them second best named team in Aus though, (just on Berrick Barnes man love)

Western Force- like a badly named western lacking the glamour of a clint eastwood film. the Force is an example of how modern sporting teams create a tradition of stupidness. Forget that the state emblem is a swan, forget that the same swan is featured on your jersey or rugby emblem and lets run witht he name "force" cos it looks good on a corporate sign.

according to dictionary.com Force = strength or power exerted upon an object; physical coercion; violence

all things the team in there mid table glory are not but also not representive of anything to do with rugby or the town in which there placed! like the Titans rugby league team or port power in the afl, this is a stupid decision by people creating pop culture and not tradition.

jesus out,

(now blogging daily when he remembers!)

OVERRATED CRAP

2008-09-15T13:17:00.002+10:00

when i cracked my first beer today around ten am and sat down to reflect on the weekend past. Many things came to mind,

who was that ugly girl at 4am that offered me favours of a sexual nature to gain an extra spot in the taxi cue?

and further more being that we were in the middle of the line, would she keep giving favours till she got to the front of it?

what if her cab had come before i finished?

is it still my cab or is it the gesture and not the end result that counts?

the answers to these questions are more suited to a relationship and feelings blog like GreenandGoldrugby's!

i want to talk about the most overrated first wallaby cap of any player in recent history!

DICK F@#KIN BROWN

When Wycliff Palu limped off the field in the 37th minute a new wallaby was born. Dick Brown became number eight hundred and something in the list of Wallabies, such names as John Eales, David Campese and Berrick Barnes! now we have Dick Brown!

now dont get me wrong i quite like Dick Brown, he has performed well. but alot of that has to do with being in a mediocre team. if a good player plays next to crap they usually stand out a little. Its why Howill looks so good next to Sharpe.

My problem is that he has been universally praised for his performance in saturday nights loss. why am i upset, he did nothing! a young lass on the TWF.com.au forums wrote "from his first touch you knew he was destined to be the wallaby number 8 for a long time". thats fine, there is a bias there and i accept that she loves Dick Brown, but Dick's first touch was to come off the back of a scrum get picked up and driven back ten metres!

so f that first touch proved anything its if Dick starts under the old laws, Dicks going to shrivel up like...............like a dick in the cold!

now he played well he ran fast, had a youthfull exuberence about him and was in everything. now so is George Bush, only difference is when George Bush gets involved in something he actually makes something happen! if Dick Brown was the first man to Iraq all those years ago, no one in Iraq would have noticed yet, cos Dick in a Ruck = just another body in the way! his aggresiveness that he was billed as having just seems to be speed, he does realise he is meant to be going after or protecting the ball doesnt he?

in summary, when a plump lady offers to blow you for a spot in the cab line, no good can come from it! and when Dick Brown gets to a ruck, dont worry, just go about your bussiness and catch your cab!

jesus out!

I TOLD YOU SO DEANS YOU MORON!

2008-09-14T10:45:00.002+10:00

as Palu limped from the field at the 37 minute mark, Australia waved goodbye to two trophies and its dignity!

but the EPIC FAILURE that was the Wallabies campaign 2008 was set in stone a few weeks ago. When Berrick Barnes got injured. now im not going to write another diatribe about how great Berrick is, you all know this by now, the greatest player on earth and rightfully so!

see, we had a training squad and a matchday squad but out of the 30 people plus, we only had one specialist inside centre. (well two, but someone forgot Giteau is an inside centre) we are basicaly stuck with outside outside backs, if Giteau got injured, Berrick was his cover, but who was in the squad to cover Berrick at inside?

im not going to write about the game or bitch about the All Blacks slitting there throats again, ive blogged about that before.

today i ask, if were selecting a team to play in a tournament why the F@#K did we only have one 5/8, inside combo in an entire squad?

master coach my ass,

Robbie Deans,

successful resume!

nice guy!

kiwi!

novice!

till a time when the Wallabies rise again,

jesus out..........

TRI-NATIONS 2008-LOOKING BACK, LOOKING FORWARD

2008-09-08T07:14:00.003+10:00

As another wonderful Tri-nations campaign draws to a close (when are they revamping the series, cos its come a few years to late!) i thought it was time to review the tournament so far and give the chosen ones preview of saturday nights final.

SOUTH AFRICA- honestly, i dont know what to say about them, blessed with talent, speed and skill but ruined by a board worse than anything NSW rugby can throw up. They started the tournament as world champions and while they cannot lose that title it was shown that the future looks as bright as a second rowers view behind Matt Dunning. Highlights of the campaign were there win over the All Blacks in N.Z and there bounce back flogging of the (Barnesless) Wallabies in there final game. FINISH-3rd (thats last) PREDICTED 2009 FINISH-3rd (thats last)

NEW ZEALAND-missed there world class number seven early in the Tri-nations, when McCaw is out its like the Wallabies without Barnes, they come back to the pack, weather its because when they play within the rules without him and show without his absolutely corrupt playing ability and cheating ways they arnt that great. Even with the slow start and losing a home game to South Africa, the all blacks have managed to put themselves one point ahead at the top of the table going into the final game in brisbane were they will be packing shit at the thought of Berrick being fit enough to play!

FINISH-1st or 2nd PREDICTED 2009 FINISH- 2nd

AUSTRALIA- imagine an Australia without Vegemite, without Beaches or bush, a void spiritless land without soul. This my friends is like watching a Wallaby team without Berrick Barnes. Barnes has proven he is the greatest rugby player in the history of the universe in 2008, without him the Wallabies are no better than a 1980s Randwick side. Campese was right when he said he would blow Berrick Barnes for free cos Berrick was sexy, im not sure if that is exactly right word for word but i agree with the sentiment totally. As the Wallabies came to a crushing (barnesless) defeat to the hands of the Saffas last week, Giteau proved why he is overrated as a leader and the backline fell apart. This week the game will hinge on the fitness of the messiah, Berrick Barnes. if Barnes is fit the Wallabies win, if he is injured the All Blacks will flog them.

FINISH- 1st or 2nd PREDICTED 2009 FINSIH- 1st (only if Barnes is fit)

FINAL PREDICTION- ive already written it but i will spell it out for those who couldnt be bothered reading!

IF BARNES IS FIT- Wallabies by 13

IF BARNES IS INJURED-All Blacks by 24

thankyou all for joining me and happy birthday,

Jesus

next weeks blog - "if south africa get a full black quota cant they sue N.Z over the use of All Blacks?"

THE GREAT GITEAU MYTH

2008-09-04T18:23:00.002+10:00

Matt Giteau,

widely regarded as the best player of the current generation of Wallabies, Matt Giteau can do no wrong. At the beginning of the season he was compared to the All Blacks legend Dan Carter. We were all told by the media, the players and by whoever else wanted to chime in that he was about to come into his own, he was a world class fly half that would help australia return to the glory days.

this like many things at the start of the season has been exposed as a lie!.

Now i know that those out West and even some in Brumby land (were Gits will return in 2010) will argue with me that he is in fact the messiah, but i strongly believe that without Berrick Barnes outside him, Matt Giteau is not the first choice 5/8th in the country.

Now at super 14 level he is hailed as a hero, but the force finished 8th and only won one more game than they lost this year, including beating just one other aussie team, whilst losing to the reds and tahs.

in internationals he has played mostly at number 12, and while he has racked up wins and losses he has usually been surrounded by great players. in starting out his career as a 12 at the brumbies and wallabies he played outside Larkham, Larkham was a convert from fullback and played a game at fly half different to the more conventional link players of the era. Larkham ran at the defence allowing those outside him to enjoy a little bit of extra space as the defence patterns of the time had to wait for Larkham to run or pass before they could rush up on the outside. this allowed Giteau time to sum up his choices and snipe at players adjusting in defence, he is great at this and exploited it well!

flash forward to today, he is playing fly half and is being confronted by set defence that rushes him and his decision making. Giteau is a great player but at 5/8 he is slowly being exposed as a poor decision maker, the number of balls that wet to ground from his passing in south africa cannot be blamed on the out of place Tahu or rushing South Africans, it has to fall on the shoulders of the man who is responsable for running the attack in the first place, that man is Matt Giteau.

the problem with Giteau is, his early season form, when everyone was on the band wagon praising him came when he was standing next to the man who could truly be the messiah of wallaby rugby! that man is Berrick Barnes!

Barnes and Giteau work in tandem, they swap between 1st and 2nd reciever and share the workload. Giteau does his best work when he gets the ball deeper infield allowing him to hold his step and change direction rather than having to go with the status quo of linking with those outside him. without Berrick, it has been plane to see that after a career of having great or senior number 12's next to him, Giteau isnt ready to run a backline on his own, the amount of time he takes for himself to sum up what to do limits the space of those outside him. in the games so far this year when we have broken the line through phase play, the balls from Giteau that have allowed this have been short inside passes. on the rare occasion he has thrown a long or cut out pass to a line break it has been while the defence has already been back tracking or in broken play.

Barnes on the other hand, seems to be a few phases ahead of the play, when he slots into first reciever he seems to take the added pressure and responsibility within his stride, having Giteau outside him (after he has been pummeled all year with the reds) seems to make him excited, his decision making is terrific and allows Giteau the extra time to set up the midfield. Robbie Deans at the Crusaders and now with Australia seems to stick with having an extra playmaker, problem is, without barnes, do we have one playmaker?

WALLABIES V SOUTH AFRICA

2008-08-24T09:40:00.002+10:00

I WATCHED THIS GAME SOBER!

both south africa and the wallabies owe me a couple of hours of my life back! this was complete shite that i wish i could have wiped from my memory!

watching to teams try to suck more than the other makes me think of what it must be like to attend a mardi gra after party!

this was a game of suckiness and Kiwi Robbie "wannabe" Deans summed it up afterwoods when asked if that "was close to the plan" as he responded "there where parts of it, they tried, thats all you can ask for really!" really robbie "they tried" well at least its better than an Eddie Jones coached team.

here is an idea for the return game next week, forfit and come back and start training for the all blacks, im not going to miss another 80 minutes of that crap and the result doesnt matter anyway, why risk more injury, and waste more of my sleep trying to pretend when you put two turd in a blender you can turn it into a meal!

if your going to catch the replay today, do yourself a favour and get a gun instead! waqtching the RWC semi final will bring you more joy than the knock-on-a-thon that is the south african quota system!

maybe we should have a quota of players that can run forward!

that said!

steven moore = great game, first time ive seen him and said world class!

ryan cross = proved he belonged

george smith = robbed of MOM, how elsom got it over him was anyones guess!

giteau = stop the short kicks, if were not going forward pump the fuckin thing to a corner already!

im watching dora the explorer right now, as far as entertainment goes, worth getting up for!

jesus out!

THE HAKA

2008-08-04T11:31:00.002+10:00

as i stood beside a mate from New Zealand on saturday night i shared the same feelings as him! no he wasnt as upset as i was at fulltime, infact by the final whistle he had barely touched his beer cos he hadnt had time between cheers to do so! while i was buried under a pile of glasses taller than the world trade centre! (are we allowed to use that metaphor?)

it was just before kick off and the New Zealanders lined up for the Haka, i love the Haka, always have, its a unique and wonderful thing to behold in a theatre of rugby, the sound the movement and the anticipation of the final jump and tongue flash leading to kick off!

but i have a problem with the new Haka, Acumate or however you spell it, the original was always taught to me to be a war dance that was performed as a challenge, it was to be faced and accepted by the opposition captain, but in examples when teams have turned there backs to it, the New Zealand public, players and officials have reacted in shock and claimed racism!

well the new Haka ends in a throat slashing movement! this is offensive in my culture, the kiwis say its not a death thing but more a "symbol of drawing vital energys", i had a brief look in the rule book and there is no rule allowing for the game to be delayed for the haka to be performed! so i call on the australian wallabys squad of 2008, in brisbane, if the kiwis line up and do this stupid over the top full of shit version of the haka, then we should line up for the kickoff and if its our turn to kick it! we should go ahead and do so!

if i went to new zealand and flashed my knob at there prime minister, she would be offended, turned on, but offended, i would probably be arrested, if i claimed in my culture, flashing my penis is a sign of respect i would be laughed at!

so when a kiwi draws "vital energys" i say we should draw trousers and flash our surperior nuts in there general direction! my Kiwi friend shared my shock, he said they should personally apologise for doing that version, i agree with him, there a bunch of dickheads!

peace out

jesus

FUCK ROBBIE DEANS

2008-08-04T11:16:00.002+10:00

for the last few weeks people have praised the hell out of Robert "Kiwi" Deans, but as we have all come crashing down to earth after being smashed by a england styled negative rugby playing bunch of all black fuckwits! (thats right i called them english!)

we lost, so why isn't everyone hassling the shit outta Robbie? why is he such a golden boy, we didnt just lose, we got our asses slow cooked, double glazed and served back to us in the new mcdonalds slow and cold style rather than the old style when the burgers were warm and you got your order within half a fuckin hour (were not waiting for fine food here people and im trying to keep a front rowers physique goin!) why is it that aussie Robbie is a god?

we have only had one decent win (the first bledisloe game) all the others we would have won under Eddie Jones! so why when that win is wiped off the record by an absolute hiding in auckland does everyone jump on the, its not the end of the world!

i have a theory, when i drink 6 beers i get a buzz going, this was the wallabies 6th game under Robbie Deans! my theory is that Robbie knows the limits of his team intake! once ive had six beers, if someone offers me another i get all Kevin Rudd and down another 10 and end up in a stripclub in new york offering a twenty to some hooker named Tatafu, wait a minute, that wasnt in new york...............

anyway, i think Robbie may have intentionally thrown the game! he saw his team getting a bit of a buzz going and he cut them off, he didnt let them get drunk on power just yet! confidence can ad a point or two in a game, but arrangance can cost you! i think Robbie knew this and went out with a negative gameplan to intentionally make his team react under pressure! they failed and he will learn more from that failure than he has from the five victories before!

what do i base this theory on you ask? nothing, thats right nothing, see, jesus is a sore loser, thats why he banished the devil forever without parole!

im clinging to hope! if you wanna take that hope from me, its going to take alot of alcohol and a beating your not capable of giving!

peace out homies!

jesus

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN - BLEDISLOE 2008

2008-07-29T22:20:00.002+10:00

At the start of the year "Aussie" Robbie "Dingo" Deans reminded us that miracles dont just happen, that miracle he discribed (maybe not in those words, but this isnt researched so bite me!) was the transformation of the Australian rugby union team to its past glory!

Well two miracles took place on saturday night, the wallabies won and a young plucky Jesus picked himself off the ground and kept on drinking!

while most pundits rated the Wallabies win as the story of the night, Jesus along with three followers (with all due respect they were only there to see me do something stupid!) climbed the biggest hurdle that australian sport has to offer! section 609, row 36 of stadium aust.........telstra stad.........anz stadium!

when you reach the second level of stadium whateverthefuckitscalled! (located at the top of the large spiral walkway designed for a car to navigate in just over an hour, you turn to walk through the gate to your seat. there is a sign on the wall with an arrow pointing up even though you already 42 stories above air!

as i remarked to a young Sage, the sign on the wall read rows 32-40 this way! sweet, we only have to walk up four rows, the first row you walk past is row 10, thats right, we have to walk by 26 fuckin rows! its steep and for those that dont know enjoy a drink! drinking for several hours and walking up is not really an option, thats why moore park is so good, its downhill to the train station!

we got there, i was tried and lay down for a while! then i needed to go to the bathroom!

to make a long story short, if were playing a forth bledisloe in Hong Fucking Kong cos its worth so much money to the ARU, how abouts a fuckin escalator for front rowers like your old pall Jesus over here mr O.neil if that is your real name, but that like continuality is ablog for another day!

yours faithfully,

J-sus

why watching rugby should be easy!

2008-07-10T09:32:00.002+10:00

i like to watch rugby!

i like to watch it live!

i dont actually watcht he game!

i get drunk!

i like to get drunk!

i like to get drunk and meet new people!

i like to get drunk and experiance other cultures and people from new zealand!

i like to get drunk and take photos!

i like to get drunk and watch rugby!

so why is it when drunk jesus rolls intot the stadium five minutes before kickoff and takes his seat in the cheapest part of the ground at the very front row the people behind take offence!

"sit down!" "shut up!" "stop touching my breasts!"

if you cant handle the f'n support get outta the ground, didnt god himself mr o'neil make alcohol free bays so mr.dipshit can take his five year old son bobby to the game and sit on his hands and pretend he gives a rats ass!

and further more if someone asks for a photo witht he weird drunk guy in the funny threads and that weird drunk guy accidentally brushes the side of her breast does it count? i dont f'n think so! if there isnt a plam full or a nipple touch its not a grope!

anyway, thats a blog for another day!

jesus loves you!

WALLABYS 2008

2008-06-15T15:47:00.002+10:00

14-6-2008

a new era, maybe not

a new team, maybe, maybe not!

a new coach - yeah!

The Waratahs excited me this year, now dont get me wrong they excite me every year, but like anything good in life it means if you invest your heart in it to much your only going to get hurt more when they let you down!

After last year, i was broken, my heart lay dead within my chest cavity, it would have been less painfull had it stopped all together but it kept beating just enough to make me limp round in a dull haze between waratah losses!. Yet come the end of the super 14 07 season i was excited, it was a world cup year and australia seemed to be improving, i even started to believe the hype going into the semi final, we just had to beat England then it was onto the Kiwis (if the made it) and they would choke, i only reset the time on my watch every four years for when the all blacks start crying, it makes me feel better about myself and i wont apologise for it! but something went wrong, my dead heart was deceived into caring again only to be shattered by boring uninspired crap for 80 minutes!

flash forward to 2008, i went into the Waratah season more concerned with drinking and the Tah Patrol than the actual game itself, something magical happened though, the Tahs kept getting better and better, they made me believe and even though they fell at the final hurdle they didnt let me down at all! a beer and a hug from a couple of players in the middle of christchurch at 2am proved that things were looking up!

then the test match season rolled round. Australia v Ireland was the making of a hollywood blockbuster, the coach, the youth and the promise of excitment aplenty! instead we got ten minutes of o.k followed by a relapse into obscurity! the All Blacks and south Africans must be shaking in there boots and million switching off at the prospect of four years of close, dull games followed by the excuse.........

the excuse you say? yes the excuse, you see the P.R team at the ARU were in overload in the lead up, Australia were no longer robots, Deans was the greatest human being alive!

Then yesterday morning, "The Excuse" was rolled out by one Johnathan "a league" O'Neil, you see before a ball was even kicked in Australia for the 2008 season, His majasty informed the papers that we shouldnt expect miracles but instead should realise it will take "Dingo" Deans a good two years before we see results! If the guy that hired him doesnt believe in him! why the hell should we!

jesus......

how many balls?

2008-06-11T17:35:00.000+10:00

to Lara! (i think)

for those of you who don't know, a trip to see the Waratahs play is not just a trip to the rugby. There is fun, games, drinks, merch and a wide variety of things to help keep you entertained and soberly challenged!

but for me nothing goes past the jewel in the crown of Waratah & Fleet rugby (i know the ARC is over but i refuse to stop supporting the boys!) is Lara (i hope thats your name, i was drunk you were cute, lets just pretend even if it isnt!)

Lara is more than just a promotional model. She is far more than that! she is the female captain of the fleet! the lady who counts the balls in the car and the keyholder to my heart!

Lara i think i love you!

if you can hear me,

pray to jesus!

ps.im not a stalker!!!!!

Uncovered: The Firepower Business Plan

2008-06-11T17:33:00.000+10:00

In a WJ exclusive, I'm able to reveal the Business Model used by Tim Johnston at Firepower

Welcome to WaratahJesus.com

2008-06-11T17:08:00.000+10:00

Welcome to WaratahJesus.com

Here is your online home of that guy you see at the rugby! you might not know him by name, but you know him to look at, laugh at and question why anyone would be that drunk or stupid!

Waratahjesus is available for parties, pub crawls, birthdays, openings, weddings and funerals!. Just pray to Jesus if you think he would the right guest for your function!

As well as being an avid rugby fan, WaratahJesus is also sensitive, sexy and a great lover! Only problem is he needs someone to do it with! so if you have a daughter, a sister or are infact a lady your self (18-30 year olds only please!) then pray to Jesus for a date!

WaratahJesus also offers a special service in breaking news to loved ones! if you need to break something to mum and dad or a close friend, dump a girlfriend/boyfriend, ask for a divorce, then why not send waratahjesus to break the news on your behalf! News comes easier with a few beers and a laugh and WaratahJesus doesn't mind telling people he doesn't know what they don't want to hear!

So tell your friends, tell a stranger, tell your perants and pets

www.WaratahJesus.com is the place to find a solution to the problems the real Jesus created!!!!

Check back for regular updates and services!